An Untold story
Its 2:30am and today is gonna be my medical checkup, its a long time since i really blogged here. What i am going to say is about a girl which i m friends with since sec 1. Dont really know who is she during secondary school till sec 4 when we are graduating then started communicating and knowing her. She was my sec school best friend's ex during our time in swiss cottage. Dont know why but i think its curiousity which brought me to knowing her further.I remember a night when it was one of the first phone calls i made to her, we spent about 5-6 hours chatting non-stop. that was my record for talking to a girl on the phone. roughly chatted from about 11pm+ to 5am+ in the morning if my memory doesnt fails me. we chatted and talked about everything under the sun, its like compressing what we may say to each other or know about each other for 4 years into 1 phone session.
After that i asked her out for movies and going out together. Do i like her? honestly i dont know man, why do i talk to her? i think its cos i wanted to find out more about her. why do i go out with her? cos i want to see her. why didnt i woo her? i think its cos she is my best friend's ex at that time and i dont wanna lose my friend or it may be awkward if i do so. why do i think that way? cos i wasnt even sure about my real emotions what did i do after that? she called me to chat at night sometimes but i just couldnt concentrate and feel comfortable talking. :\ so i decide to stop and turned a cold shoulder but still maintaining the friendship which i treasured.
am i a weakling? why couldnt i just make up my mind, know how i feel, know wat i wanted? why am i writing all these? i guess its because i treasured her deeply but didnt really know how to express myself. am i really sure i dont like her? i think its more like i want her to know that i treasure her very much more as a friend. i gave her presents every year without fail and i only wished to get her's once in my birthday. why? cos i only wanted someone to remember my birthday. someone whom i treasured to give me a present.
thats why when i told mx my bday and she gave me a present though i dont know her well made me felt touched and thought that she was a nice person. but in the end? i found out i was deceived. was it taste of own medicine? i think it was me being gullible that let everything happened this way.
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