Searching for my way of life ...

Love learnt the hard way...

let fate decide today...

posted by Kailun @ 4/30/2009 02:02:00 PM 0 comments

伍家辉 - 虽然我愿意

请让我靠近你轻轻对你说
别让我每个夜为你受折磨
是多么不容易才默默放手

为了我就当作这次为了我
别让我因为你被回忆折磨
而空气凝结了我们的脸孔
我别无选择

就算我们之间有什么问题
依然想念着你
虽然被放弃
虽然我愿意

就算我们之间有什么难题
黑夜我还想着你
心碎人孤寂
虽然我愿意

再让我靠近你轻轻对你说
当我说我要你从此好好过
是真的否则我怎么肯放手

为了我就当作这次为了我
赐给我你现在幸福的笑容
别让恨冻结了我们的脸孔
请你做选择

就算我们之间有什么问题
依然想念着你
虽然被放弃
虽然我愿意

就算我们之间有什么难题
黑夜我还想着你
心碎人孤寂
虽然我愿意

心碎人孤寂
虽然我愿意
就算我们之间有什么问题
依然想念着你
虽然被放弃
虽然我愿意

就算我们之间有什么难题
黑夜我还想着你
心碎人孤寂
虽然我愿意
(心还想着你)

posted by Kailun @ 4/29/2009 10:30:00 AM 0 comments

5 languages of love - reference to www.fivelovelanguages.com and http://queen-is-back.blogspot.com/

1. Words of affirmation
Some people need to hear good words to feel loved. Apart from compliments, some people need encouragement to feel secure and confident.

2. Quality time..
One of the most important languages. Quality time means spending time to do things that you 2 love. Siting down with a cup of coffee and listening to each other. Many times when we are troubled by work etc, we do not need advice. All we need is just a listening ear.
Quality time also means sharing with each other our intimate thoughts deep down in a uncorrupted way.

3. Receiving Gifts.
Some people respond well to visual symbols of love. Recieving gifts makes people happy. They see gifts as love. More gifts, more love. Gifts not necessary have to be expensive. It could be self made, cheap, meaningful. This language will definitely not be a problem to big spender. But it could be a problem to people who see saving as an important aspect.
Lets take this as an investment in your love!

4. Act of service
Helping your love do chores make her/him realise that you actually care for her/him. They will know that you actually want to reduce their burden of work because you love her/him. You are also required to know her/his priority in this aspect because doing the right chores for her/him, she will appreciate more.

5. Physical Touch
Some people feel more secure when they are physically touched by their mate. Be it a huge action like massage or love making.. even small actions like holding hands or kissing allow one feel being loved.
Physical touch is important in marriage life because most problems are solved thru' this language of love. People who speak this language feel better when they are hug silently after a fight or quarrel.

posted by Kailun @ 4/28/2009 07:23:00 PM 0 comments

Chris Daughtry - Over You

Now that it's all said and done,
I can't believe you were the one
To build me up and tear me down,
Like an old abandoned house.
What you said when you left
Just left me cold and out of breath.
I fell too far, was in way too deep.
Guess I let you get the best of me.

Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I'm slowly getting closure.
I guess it's really over.
I'm finally getting better.
And now I'm picking up the pieces.
I'm spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,
I got over you.

You took a hammer to these walls,
Dragged the memories down the hall,
Packed your bags and walked away.
There was nothing I could say.
And when you slammed the front door shut,
A lot of others opened up,
So did my eyes so I could see
That you never were the best for me.

Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I'm slowly getting closure.
I guess it's really over.
I'm finally getting better.
And now I'm picking up the pieces.
I'm spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,
I got over you.

Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.

Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I'm slowly getting closure.
I guess it's really over.
I'm finally getting better.
And now I'm picking up the pieces.
I'm spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
Well I'm putting my heart back together,
'Cause I got over you.
Well I got over you.
I got over you.
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,
I got over you.

---

again another song so apt and so power :X hamham mini!!! :P

posted by Kailun @ 4/27/2009 01:54:00 AM 0 comments

The past few days...

Hmm , im back . no more depression, the old kailun is back lol .
its been a very long time and the first time i sink into like a 10 days depression thing?
I apologize for being a clown, being stupid and doing stupid things during these 10 days , bt i guess its part of growing up right? besides i was in depression, so who cares?! knn i didnt even know i can love someone till i go crazy.

Anyways im back and on track and able to embrace life again, continue searching my way of life. spending quality time on myself rather than sleeping my time and sorrows away. I HAVE to make up the loss of time these 10 days of DAZING AROUND. mini hamham! thanks for being with me, im glad that u still give me like 101 2nd chances lol bt well, i will still blame u for dumping me and causing the depression in the first place. hope everything will go uptrend from now, i have ENOUGH OF DEPRESSION, time to grow up.

posted by Kailun @ 4/26/2009 01:26:00 AM 0 comments

一路向北

《一路向北》
词:方文山 曲:周杰伦 编曲:蔡科俊
後视镜里的世界 越来越远的道别
你转身向背 侧脸还是很美
我用眼光去追 竟听见你的泪
在车窗外面排徊 是我错失的机会
你站的方位 跟我中间隔著泪
街景一直在後退 你的崩溃在窗外零碎

我一路向北 离开有你的季节
你说你好累 已无法再爱上谁
风在山路吹 过往的画面全都是我不对
细数惭愧 我伤你几回

後视镜里的世界 越来越远的道别
你转身向背 侧脸还是很美
我用眼光去追 竟听见你的泪

在车窗外面排徊 是我错失的机会
你站的方位 跟我中间隔著泪
街景一直在後退 你的崩溃在窗外零碎

我一路向北 离开有你的季节
你说你好累 已无法再爱上谁
风在山路吹 过往的画面全都是我不对
细数惭愧 我伤你几回
我一路向北 离开有你的季节
方向盘周围 回转著我的後悔
我加速超越 却甩不掉紧紧跟随的伤悲
细数惭愧 我伤你几回
停止狼狈 就让错纯粹
---

stepping on the accelerator and moving on...
thanks for what you have given me in the past...
i wish you all the best and hope you be happy ;)

posted by Kailun @ 4/25/2009 12:12:00 PM 0 comments

Life is a gamble...

you win some , you lose some...

:) i hope that we be happy in the future... take care!

posted by Kailun @ 4/25/2009 11:53:00 AM 0 comments

The truth.

我的世界在下雨。。。and its not easy to stop loving someone. :(

posted by Kailun @ 4/23/2009 11:00:00 PM 0 comments

change is the only constant.

change is the only constant, time will heal all wounds.

Relationships - of all kinds - are like sand held in your hand. Held loosely with an open hand, the sand remains where it is.

The minute you close your hand and squeeze tightly to hold on, the sand trickles through your fingers. You may hold on to some of it, but most will be spilled.

A relationship is like that. Held loosely, with respect and freedom for the other person, it is likely to remain intact. But hold too tightly, too possessively, and the relationship slips away and is lost.

posted by Kailun @ 4/23/2009 09:19:00 AM 0 comments

南拳妈妈 - 下雨天

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iBGyF11fOnA
(pls click the link above)

下雨天了怎么办 我好想你
不敢打给你 我找不到原因
什么失眠的声音
变得好熟悉
沉默的场景 做你的代替
陪我听雨滴

期待让人越来越沉迷
谁和我一样
等不到他的谁

爱上你我总在学会
寂寞的滋味
一个人撑伞 一个人擦泪
一个人好累

怎样的雨 怎样的夜
怎样的我能让你更想念
雨要多大
天要多黑 才能够有你的体贴
其实 没有我你分不清那些
彻别 接近还能多一些
别说你会难过
别说你想改变
被爱的人不用道歉

期待让人越来越疲惫
谁和我一样
等不到他的谁
爱上你我总在学会 寂寞的滋味
一个人撑伞 一个人擦泪
一个人好累

怎样的雨 怎样的夜
怎样的我能让你更想念
雨要多大
天要多黑 才能够有你的体贴
其实 没有我你分不清那些
彻别 接近还能多一些
别说你会难过
别说你想改变
被爱的人不用道歉

怎样的雨 怎样的夜
怎样的我能让你更想念
雨要多大
天要多黑 才能够有你的体贴
其实 没有我你分不清那些
彻别 接近还能多一些
别说你会难过
别说你想改变
被爱的人不用道歉
---

for you hamham mini, happy '1 yr and 1mth'.

posted by Kailun @ 4/22/2009 12:41:00 AM 0 comments

To hamham mini

I enjoyed today thank you.

though one of the happiest moments in life has past. there will be more happy moments to come. the tears and laughter we share, we have grown up.

Quote from what u wrote to me before , savouring life's sweet and bitter moments and tolerating our nonsensical ways. I will always remember the days that u make me smile. The best things in life are shared between us and hope u remember the loving hamham always.

:) With love,

Hamham.

22.04.09 - a date to remember

posted by Kailun @ 4/21/2009 11:05:00 PM 0 comments

Insomnia

Its 444am when i woke up. i check my hp bt it is silent. no sms, no missed calls. after that i cant sleep anymore . current time 6am. going to work soon. flashbacks keep coming... :(

posted by Kailun @ 4/20/2009 05:55:00 AM 0 comments

说好的幸福呢 - 周杰伦

你的回话凌乱着 在这个时刻
我想起喷泉旁的白鸽 甜蜜散落了
情绪莫名的拉扯 我还爱你呢
而你断断续续唱着歌 假装没事了
时间过了走了 爱情面临选择
你冷了倦了我哭了 离开时的不快乐
你用卡片手写着 有些爱只给到这
真的痛了 怎么了你累了
说好的幸福呢 我懂了不说了
爱淡了梦远了 开心与不开心一一细数着
你再不舍 那些爱过的感觉都太深刻
我都还记得 你不等了
说好的幸福呢 我错了泪干了
放手了后悔了 只是回忆的音乐盒还旋转着
要怎么停呢

你的回话凌乱着 在这个时刻
我想起喷泉旁的白鸽 甜蜜散落了
情绪莫名的拉扯 我还爱你呢
而你断断续续唱着歌 假装没事了
时间过了走了 爱情面临选择
你冷了倦了我哭了 离开时的不快乐
你用卡片手写着 有些爱只给到这
真的痛了 怎么了你累了
说好的幸福呢 我懂了不说了
爱淡了梦远了 开心与不开心一一细数着
你再不舍 那些爱过的感觉都太深刻
我都还记得 你不等了
说好的幸福呢 我错了泪干了
放手了后悔了 只是回忆的音乐盒还旋转着
要怎么停呢

怎么了你累了 说好的幸福呢
我懂了不说了 爱淡了梦远了
我都还记得 你不等了
说好的幸福呢 我错了泪干了
放手了后悔了 只是回忆的音乐盒还旋转着
要怎么停呢
----

im utterly heartbroken...

posted by Kailun @ 4/19/2009 10:08:00 PM 0 comments

the struggle

feeling sux, keep tossing and turning in bed. images of her sleeping soundly beside me on my bed keep coming up again and again. feeling lost and angry at myself. why do things turn out like this?!

i cant even bear to look at her things anymore... its worse than all other feelings i've felt before. feelings so intense , so uncontrollable. putting a smile in front of peers and parents, it just seem so impossible, my body language and my words will just give me away.

all my meals just sux. even when the food tastes great, the feeling that im feeling just takes it all away. i cant eat , i cant eat i cant eat!!! i cannot enjoy anything! basically everything sux.

i cant do anything now, i wait till im going crazy. change is constant, and this time its getting me fast and hitting me hard. i cant call cant sms her. im struggling. help me.

posted by Kailun @ 4/19/2009 12:15:00 PM 0 comments

Miley Cyrus : The Climb

I can almost see it
That dream I'm dreaming but
There's a voice inside my head sayin,
You'll never reach it,
Every step I'm taking,
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking but I
Got to keep trying
Got to keep my head held high

There's always going to be another mountain
I'm always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes you going to have to lose,
Ain't about how fast I get there,
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

The struggles I'm facing,
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes they knock me down but
No I'm not breaking
I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I'm going to remember most yeah
Just got to keep going
And I,
I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on, cause

There's always going to be another mountain
I'm always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes I'm going to have to lose,
Ain't about how fast I get there,
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

There's always going to be another mountain
I'm always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes you going to have to lose,
Ain't about how fast I get there,
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

Keep on moving
Keep climbing
Keep the faith baby
It's all about
It's all about
The climb
Keep the faith
Keep your faith

posted by Kailun @ 4/19/2009 02:41:00 AM 0 comments

i want to find my true self.

I've done what i can already , ball is no longer in my court. Some things are not in our control, will leave to fate.

220308 - 140409

1 yr 23 days.

posted by Kailun @ 4/19/2009 01:28:00 AM 0 comments